Skip to content
Main Street Plaza

A Community for Anyone Interested in Mormonism.

Main Street Plaza

A Community for Anyone Interested in Mormonism.

“These beautifully flawed vessels”: The Conclusion of ExMormon!

chanson, June 21, 2010

LDS Godhead

I love to joke around. I’ve got the perfect joke for just this occasion. It’s an oldie, so stop Me if you’ve heard it:

Way back when Jesus and I were creating the world, I turned to Him and said “Hey Jesus, let’s create a really gorgeous mountainous region, with lakes and rivers full of fish, beautiful canyons, waterfalls, valleys, and peaks…”

Then Jesus said “But Dad, that’ll never fly! Everyone will want to live there, and it will get so crowded, it will suck!”

Then I said “I’m one step ahead of You Jesus, My boy! Why do You think I created Mormons?”

Hahahahahahahahaha!

I’m just kidding, of course! The Mormons are My chosen people these days, so that’s why I love having a little fun with them!

Now this whole idea of leaving the only true church is so completely nuts that I couldn’t help but be fascinated when I noticed that some of My children were organizing a whole conference just for people whom I was planning on sending to outer darkness. Being omniscient and all, of course I knew it was going to happen. But that didn’t make it any less entertaining to watch!

Not the conference itself, mind you — heavens, no! I avoided that like the plague! A bunch of egg-headed lectures on History, Theology, Philosophy and any other dry poindexter subject that My naughtiest children could possibly research at length! Yawnsville! It was as bad as Sacrament Meeting! Well, almost.

But there was plenty of fun stuff going on in the coffee houses and bars in the surrounding area. Here’s what I saw: Read the rest of the story

Elohim Humor Literature

Post navigation

Previous post
Next post

Related Posts

Call for Submissions

April 3, 2019

Mormon Alumni Association Books is seeking LDS-themed novels in all categories, including literary, commercial, and genre fiction. We will also consider short fiction and poetry collections. We are looking for completed manuscripts that explore the unique Mormon experience. Works may be critical of or sympathetic to the LDS Church and…

Read More

A favor for a friend (SW continues…)

November 7, 2007

In the morning Rex dropped me off at Jake’s house. Jake already had his motorcycle out in the driveway and was working on it with some tools. I hoped that it was just some last-minute adjustments and not that something was wrong.  Read the rest of the story »

Read More

DAMU, I Thank You

December 29, 2010December 29, 2010

Paying homage to online friends during this holiday season with some heartfelt silliness: (Alt link in case the embedded vid loads too slow) My inspiration, my energy, my wisdom, my gratitude, my vision, my laughter … my knowledge. From me to you: I’m so glad I’m you’re here. And, yes,…

Read More

Comments (2)

  1. Chino Blanco says:
    June 22, 2010 at 5:29 am

    “Here stands Brother Brigham, his arm out perched — his hand to the bank, his back to the church.”

    Yeah, I think I’ve seen that statue somewhere before.

    Reply
  2. chanson says:
    June 22, 2010 at 6:48 am

    If you look at the picture, I drew the statue towering over a road with cars driving through what is now Main Street Plaza. If my memory isn’t failing me, that’s what it was like before the public road was ceded to the CoJCoL-dS.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Mormon Alumni Association Books

Follow us on Substack!

Please use the "no pledge" option because we are not set up (or even want) to get money from Substack.


donna * monya * johnny * holly * chanson


Brodie Awards!!!


X-Mormon of the Year!!

  • 2025: Rebecca Bibliotheca!!
  • 2024: Nemo the Mormon!!
  • 2023: Adam Steed!!
  • 2022: David Archuleta!!
  • 2021: Jeff T. Green!!
  • 2020: Jacinda Ardern!!
  • 2019: David Nielsen!!
  • 2018: Sam Young!!
  • 2017: Savannah!!
  • 2016: Jeremy Runnells!!
  • 2015: John Dehlin!!
  • 2014: Kate Kelly!!
  • 2013: J. S. Anderson & M. Ferguson!!
  • 2012: David Twede!!
  • 2011: Joanna Brooks!!
  • 2010: Monica Bielanko!!
  • 2009: Walter Kirn!!

  1. chanson on Thanks Gloria!September 20, 2026

    @Donna -- I wouldn't say you were one of the "dumb girls". You were a young starry-eyed convert who thought…

  2. chanson on New church schedule! Good? Bad? Inspired?September 19, 2026

    @Holly -- yes, I have absolutely felt that parallel in my life. I was fortunate enough to be able to…

  3. Holly on New church schedule! Good? Bad? Inspired?September 16, 2026

    You're no doubt right. Living in Trump's America right now feels to me the way I felt about the church…

  4. Donna Banta on Thanks Gloria!September 15, 2026

    There were years of cognitive dissonance, at least in my case. I told myself that the church was a compassionate,…

  5. chanson on New church schedule! Good? Bad? Inspired?September 14, 2026

    I can't help but feel like in today's church you wouldn't even have had the opportunity to mention Santa's not…

8: The Mormon Proposition Acceptance of Gays Add new tag Affirmation angry exmormon awards Book Reviews BYU comments Dallin H. Oaks DAMU disaffected mormon underground Dustin Lance Black Ex-Mormon Excommunicated exmormon faith Family feminism Gay Gay Love Gay Marriage Gay Relationships General Conference Happiness Homosexual Homosexuality LDS LGBT LGBTQ Link Bomb missionaries Modesty Mormon Mormon Alumni Association Mormonism motherhood peace poetry politics Polygamy priesthood ban Secularism Sunstone temple

Subscribe


 

©2026 Main Street Plaza | WordPress Theme by SuperbThemes