I heard a rumor that there will be a big announcement in this weekend’s General Conference! So here are our predictions from the Main Street Plaza team:
Donna: A woman will be called to serve as a member of each ward bishopric. Her exact title is TBD. But she will be invited to sit in the second row of the stand during Sacrament Meeting, and will preside over the Primary Organization, Building Maintenance and Beautification, and of course, Refreshments.
Johnny: I predict the Prophet will announce that it’s now time to start preparing for the United Order by ordering all members to join a Socialist Party.
chanson: Since we saw on Reddit that they made some missionaries delete Facebook from their phones, I predict that they will announce that they’re making a new social media app — heavily moderated, of course.
And if they do it — this conference or later — I predict that they’ll pay some popular LDS influencers to post exclusive content there, but it will flop anyway because TBMs want to share their pious memes with non-believers (who will not be on the new app).
Monya: I predict that not only will marriage be required for certain callings, but parenthood.
Also, that worthiness interviews will ask any single adults about whether they are making a sincere effort to find a mate and require them to report such efforts to their bishops.
If not all babies are remaining Mormon as they grow up, there need to be more babies!
What do you think? Which of these new ideas will be announced? Or do you have a better idea?