“These beautifully flawed vessels”: The Conclusion of ExMormon!

Elohim Humor Literature

LDS Godhead

I love to joke around. I’ve got the perfect joke for just this occasion. It’s an oldie, so stop Me if you’ve heard it:

Way back when Jesus and I were creating the world, I turned to Him and said “Hey Jesus, let’s create a really gorgeous mountainous region, with lakes and rivers full of fish, beautiful canyons, waterfalls, valleys, and peaks…”

Then Jesus said “But Dad, that’ll never fly! Everyone will want to live there, and it will get so crowded, it will suck!”

Then I said “I’m one step ahead of You Jesus, My boy! Why do You think I created Mormons?”

Hahahahahahahahaha!

I’m just kidding, of course! The Mormons are My chosen people these days, so that’s why I love having a little fun with them!

Now this whole idea of leaving the only true church is so completely nuts that I couldn’t help but be fascinated when I noticed that some of My children were organizing a whole conference just for people whom I was planning on sending to outer darkness. Being omniscient and all, of course I knew it was going to happen. But that didn’t make it any less entertaining to watch!

Not the conference itself, mind you — heavens, no! I avoided that like the plague! A bunch of egg-headed lectures on History, Theology, Philosophy and any other dry poindexter subject that My naughtiest children could possibly research at length! Yawnsville! It was as bad as Sacrament Meeting! Well, almost.

But there was plenty of fun stuff going on in the coffee houses and bars in the surrounding area. Here’s what I saw: Read the rest of the story

2 thoughts on ““These beautifully flawed vessels”: The Conclusion of ExMormon!

  1. “Here stands Brother Brigham, his arm out perched — his hand to the bank, his back to the church.”

    Yeah, I think I’ve seen that statue somewhere before.

  2. If you look at the picture, I drew the statue towering over a road with cars driving through what is now Main Street Plaza. If my memory isn’t failing me, that’s what it was like before the public road was ceded to the CoJCoL-dS.

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