When I left the church, I found that more things made sense to me. I didn’t have to start rationalizing things to make it fit in with doctrine, and I could just believe in the world based on how I saw and experienced it. So, I’d definitely say that when I left the church, I didn’t have to many healing wounds. I can speak about the church without getting too worked up over most issues.
…But Ex-Mormons in general don’t seem to have such a good image. I have written about my latest escapades across the blogging world on my blog, this time with a smaller blog run by kittywaymo. And in a blog entry at Mormon Matters, I’ve inquired about what commenters there would expect of Ex-Mormons (if, hypothetically, they were asked about the church). Anyway, I guess she had some conclusions about Ex-Mormons that I just couldn’t shake (and to admit, after a while I recognized it was better to leave sooner rather than later.) Here are a few:
1) Ex-mormons have no sense of humor and are particularly litigious
2) The Mormon Church will always make your life HAPPY and BETTER and leaving will always make you miserable and angry and demented.
3) In fact, these angry, miserable, loveless ex-Mormons will becomeâ€¦oh my goodnessâ€¦ATHEISTS! and will make fun of EVERYTHING sacred!
4) Ex-Mormons are prejudiced against Jews, blacks, and yes, even gays! I need to read more of their trash about my race and realize that really, the Mormons have it right.
5) As a journalist, you know everything. So thatâ€™s why kittywaymo is Definitely Correct about exmormons and Mormons. I need to wait 20 years and get more journalist experience and understand the plain and simple truths, because now Iâ€™m too young (but kittywaymo was once there, so she understands!)
6) Donâ€™t buy into exmo rhetoric! They are not anti-mo, but exmo rhetoric can turn you anti.
7) Ex-mos are lazy; they expect ENTITLEMENT. Most of them didnâ€™t put a single thing into their testimonies, serving others, loving. 10 years of journalistic research shows they were caught up in sexual sin and dishonesty (a shoutout to Cr@ig too, I think)
I don’t know how she got the idea that I was a journalist, and I don’t think she fully clued in to the idea that I am one of the ex-Mormons she is trying to warn me about. But, I dunno…I just don’t know how to respond to this.
I can see how if you go to some sites and some forums, you will see ranting and raving. I think that the ranting and raving, in some cases, is understandable, precisely because of how in depth the Mormon culture is — if that falls away; if you’ve felt slighted, that’s not something minor.
But at the same time, it takes time to point that out. Really, we have to pull ourselves above this, even though it still hurts and even though we still feel there are grievances, and we have to be stoic. But I just don’t know how we can change perception.
I mean, there are some parts that really shouldn’t be conceded. For example, kittywaymo feels confident that you can’t find a CV of any exmormons that are “successful, happy, drug/alcohol free.” Although I know you can find hundreds of CVs for people who fit these, what’s the deal with including a direct throw-out to the Word of Wisdom here? One need not be a tee-totaller to be successful and truly happy. Or, of course, there’s nothing wrong with atheism…and obviously, when the sacred isn’t so sacred, there’s nothing wrong with making fun of it.
But somehow, I feel that we should work each day to try to get through to people…but at the same time, it may be impossible to do that.