Skip to content
Main Street Plaza

A Community for Anyone Interested in Mormonism.

Main Street Plaza

A Community for Anyone Interested in Mormonism.

Mormonland!

Donna Banta, August 2, 2023August 2, 2023

Saw Barbie the other day. What a delight. It was cute, sparkly, hilarious, deliciously subversive, inspiring, relevant, and above all, PINK! Plus it made me nostalgic. Not so much for the doll. Although I did have a Barbie, also a Ken, a pre-pregnancy Midge, and a Skipper (flat-chested model). But they’ve been back in their boxes for some time.

Rather, Barbieland conjured up another plastic paradise I used to inhabit: Mormonland!

You don’t need to see the movie to visualize Barbieland. Monochromatic color scheme. Goldfish-bowl houses. Beautiful people living perfect lives…only sans authenticity, freedom, conflict, glands, genitalia, etc.

You get where I’m going, right? Trade out pink for white, matriarchy for patriarchy, a good screenplay for a bad…and voila! You’ve got Mormonland.

Yikes! I think I could do with a little Oppenheimer now.

Watching America Ferrera speed across the desert into Barbieland, I thought of our own trips back to Mormonland, also across the desert, to visit friends and relations in their tidy, LDS tracts. Houses immaculately in sync down to the pinecone door wreaths handcrafted at the latest Personal Enrichment Meeting.

I’m now visualizing a major production number. Relief Society sisters draped in tiers of white tulle, twirling across the cultural hall in a fog of glitter…

Surreal as it seems now, I used to inhabit this world. I had my own Mormonland dreamhouse, (metaphorically) without walls, always open to the patriarchy. The ideal stage for the obligatory Mormon production numbers. That was, until the fog of doubt descended along with the glitter, and my plastic Mormonland dreamhouse dissembled part by part.

Given the rigidity of its construct, it’s strange how fragile Mormonland actually is. But when I found flaws in the structure, it was remarkably easy to take the whole thing down and put it back in its box.

Sure, I had to give up eternity. (So did Barbie—wink.) But the reward was authenticity. Also freedom, conflict, glands, etc. And no more bad screenplays.

Mormon Doctrine Testimony BarbieLDS FamiliesMormon Doctrine

Post navigation

Previous post
Next post

Related Posts

Sunday in Outer Blogness: Towel girls edition!

December 26, 2017

Thanks to everyone who has been contributing nominations for X-Mormon of the Year! I am planning to start collecting nominations for the Brodie Awards this weekend, and then the following weekend, I’ll post the polls to vote for X-Mormon of the Year. So, the Mormon community got some exciting news…

Read More

Sister Wife: the Pop Song

December 30, 2011December 31, 2011

Can’t believe someone didn’t think of it sooner: a pop song about rivalry between sister wives. Here’s the direct link.

Read More

Forever vs. Family; Rules vs. Relationships

February 28, 2011February 23, 2011

By way of introduction, I am a gay Mormon, who also happens to be (currently) married and a father. I started the coming out process last fall, and my wife and I are currently in the process of separating with plans to eventually divorce. Even before recently coming to terms…

Read More

Comments (2)

  1. Monya_postMo (@Monya_PostMo) says:
    August 2, 2023 at 6:02 pm

    Thanks for this Donna! You’ve got my head running in more similarities. I am thinking of the conformity – how the Alan: Ken’s buddy doll could wear all of Ken’s clothes. There is an assumption that we all have a role to play and that within those roles, we’re all interchangeable. I’m thinking specifically of our role in marriage and the assertion that any righteous woman + any righteous man could equal a fulfilling match. We’re not actual people in Mormonland, we’re swappable dolls. No sense in getting to know ourselves, only perfecting our roles. And that’s a perfect recipe for misery in reality.

    Reply
  2. Donna Banta says:
    August 3, 2023 at 7:04 am

    Great observation, Monya. BYU was all about marriage when I was there. I expect it still is. And I remember being scolded by a friend for being “too picky” when it came to men. “You’ll never find a husband with those expectations!” (Any Ken will do.)

    So many of my acquaintances married after 1 date. I often wonder where they are now. Probably a few of those marriages worked out. But the odds certainly aren’t in their favor.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Mormon Alumni Association Books

Follow us on Substack!

Please use the "no pledge" option because we are not set up (or even want) to get money from Substack.


donna * monya * johnny * holly * chanson


Brodie Awards!!!


X-Mormon of the Year!!

  • 2025: Rebecca Bibliotheca!!
  • 2024: Nemo the Mormon!!
  • 2023: Adam Steed!!
  • 2022: David Archuleta!!
  • 2021: Jeff T. Green!!
  • 2020: Jacinda Ardern!!
  • 2019: David Nielsen!!
  • 2018: Sam Young!!
  • 2017: Savannah!!
  • 2016: Jeremy Runnells!!
  • 2015: John Dehlin!!
  • 2014: Kate Kelly!!
  • 2013: J. S. Anderson & M. Ferguson!!
  • 2012: David Twede!!
  • 2011: Joanna Brooks!!
  • 2010: Monica Bielanko!!
  • 2009: Walter Kirn!!

  1. chanson on Thanks Gloria!September 20, 2026

    @Donna -- I wouldn't say you were one of the "dumb girls". You were a young starry-eyed convert who thought…

  2. chanson on New church schedule! Good? Bad? Inspired?September 19, 2026

    @Holly -- yes, I have absolutely felt that parallel in my life. I was fortunate enough to be able to…

  3. Holly on New church schedule! Good? Bad? Inspired?September 16, 2026

    You're no doubt right. Living in Trump's America right now feels to me the way I felt about the church…

  4. Donna Banta on Thanks Gloria!September 15, 2026

    There were years of cognitive dissonance, at least in my case. I told myself that the church was a compassionate,…

  5. chanson on New church schedule! Good? Bad? Inspired?September 14, 2026

    I can't help but feel like in today's church you wouldn't even have had the opportunity to mention Santa's not…

8: The Mormon Proposition Acceptance of Gays Add new tag Affirmation angry exmormon awards Book Reviews BYU comments Dallin H. Oaks DAMU disaffected mormon underground Dustin Lance Black Ex-Mormon Excommunicated exmormon faith Family feminism Gay Gay Love Gay Marriage Gay Relationships General Conference Happiness Homosexual Homosexuality LDS LGBT LGBTQ Link Bomb missionaries Modesty Mormon Mormon Alumni Association Mormonism motherhood peace poetry politics Polygamy priesthood ban Secularism Sunstone temple

Subscribe


 

©2026 Main Street Plaza | WordPress Theme by SuperbThemes