Skip to content
Main Street Plaza

A Community for Anyone Interested in Mormonism.

Main Street Plaza

A Community for Anyone Interested in Mormonism.

Orientation, Selfishness and Female Ordination

Alan, April 23, 2011May 31, 2011

Many Mormons understand their orientation to be to their spouse. This is commendable, because it demonstrates dedication and fidelity.

However, a spouse for Latter-day Saints means someone of the opposite gender. Homosexuality gets compartmentalized as an affliction that can lead to selfishness if not kept in check.

This selfishness is understood to disorient a person from their true orientation: that of their potential or current spouse of the opposite gender. Some gay Mormon men believe their affliction is a blessing in disguise because it teaches them to be humble. Others begin to question the Churchs framing of homosexuality and of gender.

Because the selfishness has been gendered male (and selflessness gendered female), female homosexuality, in fact, threatens the Churchs patriarchal structure. It is no coincidence that faiths that approve of same-sex marriage also ordain women.

When it comes to the reason why females dont have the priesthood, one Mormon man, after asking his stake president, explained it this way:

The priesthood was given to men to help us learn how to do what to women comes naturally. Everything we do with the priesthood is to help and serve other peoplewe can’t give ourselves blessings, we can’t seal ourselves to our spouses. It is all about service to others! So men were given the priesthood to help us become better people, to be more serviceoriented and less self oriented. In other wordswe were given the priesthood to help us raise ourselves up to the level where women are already at!

Of course, this logic fails on its face, because if women are naturally service-oriented, then they should have had the priesthood from the beginning. Even if one believes the human experience on Earth is a classroom in which those who arent service-oriented (men) are the ones who most need to learn how to be (like women), this frankly results in a sexist pigeonholing of women as selflessbecause of their ties to motherhood and so on.

When it comes to homosexuality, Mormon women are believed to be doing a better job at “naturally” keeping their selfishness in check (except those Mormon lesbians who leave the Church, who are thought of as acting like selfish men). The lesbian Mormon in good standing with the Church might not even identify as lesbian or with her attractions, and might simply consider her orientation to be to her male spouse.

Thus, we hear about gay Mormon men who are becoming humble,” but we rarely hear about gay Mormon women who are already humble.

Still, outside the Church, homosexuality is not framed as lending to selfishness, and more and more Mormons believe it doesn’t; I would think more and more Mormons are also beginning to question why there is no female ordination. The two go hand-in-hand.

Homosexuality Priesthood Women

Post navigation

Previous post
Next post

Related Posts

Mormonism, disability, same-gender attraction

December 21, 2010May 17, 2011

From Alma 34: 40 And now my beloved brethren, I would exhort you to have patience, and that ye bear with all manner of afflictions; that ye do not revile against those who do cast you out because of your exceeding poverty, lest ye become sinners like unto them; 41…

Read More

The Tragic Consequences of Legalized Gay Marriage

June 30, 2009January 15, 2011

Yesterday we saw how the GLBT community in SLC has grown stronger in the face of adversity. Well, in today’s news item, we see what has become of Massachusetts. It’s a Mormon’s nightmare of a society, told in the words of “Mike Henkle, a devout Mormon from Provo, Utah”: Beth…

Read More

Bishop’s Guide to Same-sex Attraction posted, and then removed

February 5, 2013February 17, 2013

Check out this cache of a Bishop’s Guide to Same-Sex Attraction that the Church posted and then took down.  (Note:  Link is no longer functional.)  Such documents are useful because they give a snapshot of everyday policy and counseling advice that affects millions of lives.  One can also get a…

Read More

Comments (6)

  1. wayne says:
    April 24, 2011 at 9:58 am

    And don’t forget men are supposed to put their wives on a pedestal. In my house the only things we have on pedestals are sinks, toilets and statues.

  2. Alan says:
    April 24, 2011 at 10:21 am

    I hear a huge problem in the older LDS singles community is that Mormon men develop such crazy ideas about what the “perfect Mormon woman” is like that they’re never satisfied when they actually meet her. Who knew pedestaling could be so degrading.

  3. JS says:
    May 10, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Thanks for even writing about Mormon lesbians. I rarely even read anything about them. The gay Mormon men are talking but the women definitely aren’t. When will they start talking?

  4. findingmyway says:
    May 11, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    I am a married, Mormon lesbian. There, I said it. I’m married to the perfect man and we have three beautiful children. I am NOT “selfLESS” and have many times crossed the line. I feel completely gay, married straight. It’s a difficult situation and one that I may not always be in. We’re considering divorce, although we’re so happy together. If it weren’t for the LESBIAN issue, everything would be fine. So, here I am. You may hear more from me in the future.

  5. chanson says:
    May 11, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    So, here I am. You may hear more from me in the future.

    FindingMyWay — Thanks for coming here — I can’t wait to hear more from you! 😀

  6. JS says:
    May 11, 2011 at 1:15 pm

    Finding My Way-I’m wondering if you fit in the category the author of this post addresses? “The mormon lesbian in good standing with the church may not even identify as lesbian…” From your reply, you do identify as lesbian. How does that work for you in the church? Why do you think Mormon lesbians are less hesitant to talk? Are there just fewer of you than gay Mormon men? Could it be merely statistical?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Mormon Alumni Association Books

Latest Comments:

  1. Anon on Collecting Nominations for the 2025 Brodie Awards!!December 12, 2025

    Most humorous episodes Britty the Apostate https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRYqwEy6rhk Best new humorous/satirical channel: Britty the Apostate https://www.facebook.com/people/Britty-The-Apostate/61579368354784/ https://www.tiktok.com/@brittytheapostate https://www.youtube.com/@BrittyTheApostate

  2. chanson on Collecting Nominations for the 2025 Brodie Awards!!December 10, 2025

    Abstract Atheists for best new channel 2025.

  3. chanson on Collecting Nominations for the 2025 Brodie Awards!!December 10, 2025

    I've found two for a new category of personal survival stories (if we get one more, we can make this…

  4. chanson on Collecting Nominations for the 2025 Brodie Awards!!December 10, 2025

    For best history (or narrative nonfiction) book: The Juvenile Instructor Office: The Growth of Specialized Publishing in Utah in the…

  5. chanson on Collecting Nominations for the 2025 Brodie Awards!!December 10, 2025

    Thanks for the great nominations so far!!! I'm going to add some nominations here myself. I'll consolidate later. For Best…

8: The Mormon Proposition Acceptance of Gays Add new tag Affirmation angry exmormon awards Book Reviews BYU comments Conformity Dallin H. Oaks DAMU disaffected mormon underground Dustin Lance Black Ex-Mormon Exclusion policy Excommunicated exmormon faith Family feminism Gay Gay Love Gay Marriage Gay Relationships General Conference Happiness Homosexual Homosexuality LDS LGBT LGBTQ Link Bomb missionaries Modesty Mormon Mormon Alumni Association Mormonism motherhood peace politics Polygamy priesthood ban Sunstone temple

Awards

William Law X-Mormon of the Year:

  • 2024: Nemo the Mormon
  • 2023: Adam Steed
  • 2022: David Archuleta
  • 2021: Jeff T. Green
  • 2020: Jacinda Ardern
  • 2019: David Nielsen
  • 2018: Sam Young
  • 2017: Savannah
  • 2016: Jeremy Runnells
  • 2015: John Dehlin
  • 2014: Kate Kelly
  • 2013: J. Seth Anderson and Michael Ferguson
  • 2012: David Tweede
  • 2011: Joanna Brooks
  • 2010: Monica Bielanko
  • 2009: Walter Kirn

Other Cool Sites!

WasMormon.org
©2025 Main Street Plaza | WordPress Theme by SuperbThemes