Alan Osmond, Macho Man

From the YouTube description:

Eldest Osmond brother Alan says in a new interview that the Osmond Brothers’ dancing was too effeminate, so they brought in Chuck Norris, who basically taught them how to add karate-style moves to make it more manly. Says Osmond: “Chuck, we need to toughen up our dance. Can you help us? And he said ‘well let’s learn some karate and you can apply the moves’ cause there’s stomps, and HOOO, YEAH. You know, it was very boyish, and that’s what we wanted.”

Obviously, the next step is going to involve perusing some Osmonds clips and judging how consistently the brothers performed to Alan’s standard (be sure to catch their “Stayin’ Alive” cover in the comments section below).


Warren Throckmorton: Alan Osmond channels NARTH

Queerty: WATCH: The Osmonds Hired Chuck Norris To De-Feminize Their Dancing

Back2Stonewall: Alan Osmond Of The Osmond Family Pens Anti-Gay Article Defending Gay Reparative Therapy and the Mormon Church

HuffPost: Alan Osmond Pens Anti-Gay Article In Defense Of Reparative Therapy On Family Website

Advocate: Osmond Brother Defends Antigay Reparative Therapy

And just for fun… Here’s a compilation of Alan’s wit and wisdom.

Big tip o’ the hat to Dave Evans for breaking this story.

And the latest two three four five links:

QSaltLake: The scary truth about Alan Osmonds family-friendly website

Truth Wins Out: Unknown Osmond Wouldnt Be Tough Butch Dancer He Is Today Without Chuck Norris

Perez Hilton: Alan Osmond Thinks Homosexuality Can Be “Cured”!

Salt Lake Tribune: Online, it’s Alan Osmond vs. the LGBT community

LGBT Weekly: Alan Osmond: Homosexuality is not innate

Chino Blanco

--- We are men of action, lies do not become us. ---

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19 Responses

  1. SLK says:

    Love it especially the manly grunts, and then the Village People snippet at the end.

    Doubtfully relevant side note: I first heard the VP at the opening night of that huge disco in Provo in the late ’70s, long before I knew who they were. (The song was “YMCA”.) Oh, and Marie was there, dancing nearby. 🙂

  2. Dave Evans says:

    Check this video out on it’s Youtube page. I posted the brothers singing “Stayin’ Alive” as a video response. No karate moves but alot of hands on hips disco dancing going on. You know, since you are easily amused! 🙂

  3. Chino Blanco says:

    That I gotta see (as soon as I get out from behind this damn Great Firewall of China). Such beauty and grace. Why can’t Alan just own it? Of course, the next challenge is gonna be finding the perfect Chuck Norris clip. For some reason, I’m guessing it’s gonna involve roller skates.

  4. chanson says:

    Haha, the Stayin Alive video is great! Sorry to rub it in, Chino…

  5. Chino Blanco says:

    No worries, chanson. Whenever I feel like complaining, I just remind myself of all the BYU students who also had to wait until their dear leaders decided it was safe for them to access YouTube. By the way, our view counter is FUBAR. There have been 10x the displayed visits to this post. No big deal, just noting for the record.

  6. Dave Evans says:

    Yeah, your counter is a little off. There are a couple thousand hits coming from your post.

  7. Chino Blanco says:

    Choreography by Chuck Norris… (finally getting around to embedding the above-mentioned Osmond Brothers – “Stayin’ Alive” clip):

  8. kuri says:

    I’m guessing that must be one of their “Before” videos.

  9. Gordon says:

    If what we saw of the Osmonds dancing on television was the masculinized end product, what was it like before Norris helped them?

  10. leftofcentre says:

    I loved that when Alan raised his finger, everyone hushed…oooh, the same finger that points to the ceiling when doing The Hustle!

  11. Chino Blanco says:

    The National Enquirer site blocks int’l traffic? How am I supposed to read this story when it breaks? Bollocks.

  12. Dave Evans says:

    Don’t worry, I will take screen captures for you! lol

  13. Chino Blanco says:

    Screen captures? No, please go ahead and drop the link here when it goes live. We’re huge Enquirer fans around here and look forward to sending as much traffic their way as we can. 😉

  14. Dave Evans says:

    Will do! It will only be a summary of the article though. We will have to wait for that issue to come out to read the entire thing.

  15. Chino Blanco says:

    Is Nathan Osmond the latest example of “one set of rules for celebrity Mormons” and a harsher law for the little people?


    He’s lightin’ up the charcoal
    Icin’ down the long necks
    Actin’ a fool with a bunch of crazy rednecks
    Partyin’ harder than all the frat boys around
    All bets are off, once you put the tailgate down

  16. Dave Evans says:

    Nathan, doing damage control, said “Dad’s Old Fashioned Root Beer sponsored my video. That’s my kind of long neck! ;)” How lame is that?

  17. Chino Blanco says:

    I remember growing up, we watched the Donny & Marie show religiously, but even as big fans, my folks would shake their heads at some of the outfits and wonder out loud how they managed to wear garments under that. As a kid, It was our judgmental attitude that I found lame, and I’m maybe bringing the same self-righteousness to judging Nathan, but then again, I don’t think I’ve ever met a frat boy who bragged about a hard night of chugging root beer.

  18. Dave Evans says:

    Nathan sold out to fit in. That’s my opinion. I wouldn’t care if it weren’t for the hypocrisy. When prop 8 came around, alot of them took to blogs talking about how marriage was under attack & Alan has been bashing gay people every since. For me, the problem is that when you try to force your beliefs on others then you should at least live up to them yourself.

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