Skip to content
Main Street Plaza

A Community for Anyone Interested in Mormonism.

Main Street Plaza

A Community for Anyone Interested in Mormonism.

Through Abuse and out: Todd Maxwell Preston’s “Sacred Road”

chanson, February 2, 2014

My father was sexually abused as a boy. I found this out when I was thirty-five years old. Was I shocked? Not really – he was raised with violence and abuse, in a very dysfunctional system. The abuse was accepted as normal, I get that now. The fact that it was treated as normal made it all okay. I’m thirty-six years old as I write my story, it is just a story. I am no longer attached to my story. My story used to be everything, it justified all the anger and rage. I thought that my story was who I was. I offer my story to all who have been abused, also to the abuser, also to those who would like to understand abuse. All who have not yet let go of their story.

That’s Todd Maxwell Preston in his memoir Sacred Road.

His story is a familiar one in ex-Mormon circles. Mormonism is especially attractive to people and families suffering from abuse. People see these beautiful, smiling, perfect Mormon families and think: “If we were Mormon, we’d be happy like that too.”

In such cases, Mormonism isn’t the root cause of the abuse, but can often exacerbate the problem instead of helping. Once the family joins the church, Mormon culture encourages them to cover up the abuse, and only show a beautiful, smiling, perfect exterior. Mormon teachings also often give increased authority to the abuser, teaching the rest of the family be obedient and submissive.

Todd’s story is exceptional, though, in terms of his perspective. I’ve read a lot of memoirs where the author describes having been profoundly hurt, having learned unhealthy relationship models, and passing the abuse along. Generally such stories have an edge of defensiveness, but not Todd’s story. He has taken great pains to understand where he was at and what he and others were feeling that prompted various (often poor) choices. Thus he takes responsibility for his choices and expresses regret at the harm caused by others, but without blaming and shaming. In terms of understanding the cycle of abuse — in order to break it — the story is excellent and exceptional. I’ve never read anything quite like it. And it’s inspiring to see the main character grow into a person who can view his own story in this way.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who would like more perspective on abuse and on how it affects people and families.

Abuse Book Review

Post navigation

Previous post
Next post

Related Posts

The Armpit of the Mission Field: “Heaven Up Here” by John K. Williams

November 24, 2011

When John got his mission call to Bolivia, it was like a joke come true. Before the letter came, he and his friends had a running gag that he’d be sent there — because it’s the clich worst-possible foreign mission (see here for a coincidental example). Then he really got…

Read More

Adventures in family-building: “The Book of Thompson” by David J. Larkin Jr.

May 31, 2013

What do you do when you’re a housewife raising four kids and you suspect your husband of cheating on you? If you’re also Mormon and it’s 1954, the answer is: have another kid! And then another… The Book of Thompson by David J. Larkin Jr. tells the story of three…

Read More

“Selling the City of Enoch” by Johnny Townsend

May 7, 2014

Johnny Townsend has done it again. He’s delivered more deliciously subversive Mormon fiction in his delightful new collection, Selling the City of Enoch. As in his previous works, Townsend’s well-drawn characters are too complex to fit into the Mormon cookie-cutter mold. For example, the overly curious Sister Covino who can’t…

Read More

Comments (21)

  1. knotty says:
    February 2, 2014 at 8:51 am

    Just ordered it! Thanks for the heads up!

  2. Joseph says:
    February 2, 2014 at 10:47 am

    Thank you so much for sharing this!

  3. aerin says:
    February 4, 2014 at 7:33 am

    Thanks chanson! I’ll look into it as well!

  4. Todd Preston says:
    February 5, 2014 at 2:29 am

    A huge thank you to Carol for an amazing review on Sacred Road; you captured the very essence of my memoir. Thank you – thank you.

    Todd Preston

  5. jen says:
    February 8, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    This sounds like a beautiful book. I look forward to reading it.

  6. Todd Preston says:
    February 8, 2014 at 11:53 pm

    Thanks so much for your comments – I hope you enjoy reading Sacred Road; happy reading everyone.

    Cheers

  7. chanson says:
    February 9, 2014 at 5:33 am

    Here‘s the book’s new MAA page. 😀

  8. Todd Preston says:
    February 10, 2014 at 3:06 am

    Yay – Thanks Carol for placing Sacred Road on MAA…

  9. Todd Preston says:
    February 24, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    A big thank you to all those that have purchased an ecopy of Sacred Road; thank you – thank you…

    Cheers

  10. Laura says:
    August 24, 2014 at 12:05 am

    Being an abuser of any type is grounds for excommunication from the LDS church. Those who led Mr. Preston to believe that he should cover up his abuse were wrong, and will be held accountable before God. Such misuse of authority within the family should be reported to the bishop (by the family members or someone who is close to the situation) so that the abuser can be dealt with, and stopped!

  11. chanson says:
    August 24, 2014 at 6:00 am

    @10 — yes, but in practice, part of the problem is that LDS bishops don’t typically have any real training in dealing with abuse situations. So whether they end up helping or exacerbating the problem is kind of luck-of-the-draw.

  12. Todd Preston says:
    August 26, 2014 at 4:04 am

    Unfortunately when you are a child you do not know what abuse is – you accept it. Who is going to tell? Your siblings? It is normal to them as well. It took me all the way to 35 years old to actually say that I was abused physically – with a lot of help from a professional psychologist. After 30 years of experience he made it clear that those that have been abused (minimize the abuse) that they experienced. It is a difficult subject for any culture not just Mormon culture. However when a high demand group like Mormons place a greater precedence on image rather than the dirty truth it sadly pre-empts the opportunity to own the truth. Owning our beautiful imperfections is sadly misguided by a society hell bent on perfection – when we embrace our own truth we move closer to freedom.

    Love and Peace Todd

  13. Juli Gordon Winger says:
    August 28, 2014 at 6:50 am

    I am a practicing member of the LDS Church. I am 56 years old. I was sexually abused by a cousin several years older then myself when I was quite young. I do not hold anyone responsible for my abuse but the abuser. He made choices that effected my life, although blessed with many gifts, his life was a sad one. I am thankful for the struggles in my life they have taken me down roads that have made me stronger. Would I have chosen them? No! Do I have regrets? Yes! Can I change them? No! I take what I have learned and look ahead. I rely on a God who I know to be kind and loving. I accept the sacrifice of my Savior to forgive my self and others. Am I perfect? No! I am a blessed woman, I can not deny this.

  14. chanson says:
    August 28, 2014 at 7:58 am

    @13 I am very happy for you that you are working through your sexual abuse issues.

    I don’t know whether you intend your comment to be a rebuttal to Todd Maxwell Preston’s book, but if so, please keep in mind that one person’s personal experience does not refute the personal experience of another.

  15. Linda Schiller-Hanna says:
    September 1, 2014 at 3:36 pm

    This is one of the most important books I’ve read in my
    entire life. Thank you Todd for breaking the code of
    silence and standing for what is right.
    I was abused too, and it is a long journey into wholeness.
    You are a true winner and a beautiful example to
    anyone who has suffered from personal, family or
    institutional abuse.
    I invite anyone to read my review of this book on
    amazon.com for more details of why I love it so much.

  16. Todd Preston says:
    September 2, 2014 at 2:48 am

    Thank you Linda for your heart felt comments. Your review was so honest and real. I felt the pain and agony in what you shared. Good for you for standing in your own power and sharing your truth. I hope you continue to share your story with others. Your words brought a tear to my eye and reminded me of a favourite quote from an amazing author Natalie Kusz.

    “As I am sure you know… writers are in the business of attempting to expose the human condition in such a way that our description resonates in the souls of other humans, and it is extremely gratifying to hear about the one or two times when something we publish succeeds in this endeavour.”

    You have gifted me with an “extremely gratifying” moment. Thank you – thank you…

  17. Tony Head says:
    March 4, 2015 at 7:17 pm

    Hey Todd I have only recently learnt who you are through meeting your wife last weekend; Where your story was briefly shared. I would like to congratulate you on being strong enough to explain your story in your book Sacred Road, which I’m sure many will benefit and also gain immense strength.
    This is very inspirational.
    Thank You
    Tony Head

  18. Todd Preston says:
    March 8, 2015 at 6:03 pm

    Hey Tony that is awesome – glad you enjoyed Sacred Road. My intention was exactly that help others find the joy within them. All the best to you and your family.

    Cheers Todd

  19. Larry Conrad says:
    May 13, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    I’d like to get in touch with Todd about his book, as I’m working on a book about memoirs by male survivors.

  20. chanson says:
    May 15, 2015 at 2:23 am

    @19 OK, I’ll write him an email and tell him. 😀

  21. Martin says:
    February 29, 2016 at 11:15 pm

    p.s. to my LDS friends:Please don’t get the miriipsessmon from the above picture that this story is going to contain some (potentially inappropriate?) sex story involving LDS missionaries. It doesn’t.The missionary segment of the novel is a story — partially based on accounts people have told me — of being tempted and not giving in to temptation.How (and why) would an exmo write such a story? and see for yourself. 😉 Or wait until I post this segment and read it for free. :DAlso, there’s some discussion of this story .

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Mormon Alumni Association Books

Latest Comments:

  1. Cara B. Klein on My conspiracy theory #2April 26, 2025

    Wow, I had never thought about it in that way before You have really opened my eyes to a new…

  2. chanson on LDS vs LGBTQ:  Nathan Kitchen sheds false binariesApril 16, 2025

    The haiku at the end is lovely. Sounds like a great book!

  3. Donna Banta on LDS vs LGBTQ:  Nathan Kitchen sheds false binariesApril 14, 2025

    I imagine anyone who has tried to change the church from within will identify with Kitchen's story. I especially like…

  4. Johnny Townsend on LDS vs LGBTQ:  Nathan Kitchen sheds false binariesApril 14, 2025

    This was a painful review to read. For many years, I held the same hope, that the LDS church would…

  5. LDS vs LGBTQ:  Nathan Kitchen sheds false binaries – Main Street Plaza on It’s Time to Vote for the 2024 Brodie Awards!!!April 14, 2025

    […] sincere acceptance is not a priority. Fortunately, this is what he exemplifies in his memoir, the Brodie-nominated Boughs of…

8: The Mormon Proposition Acceptance of Gays Add new tag Affirmation angry exmormon awards Book Reviews BYU comments Conformity Dallin H. Oaks DAMU disaffected mormon underground Dustin Lance Black Ex-Mormon Exclusion policy Excommunicated exmormon faith Family feminism Gay Gay Love Gay Marriage Gay Relationships General Conference Happiness Homosexual Homosexuality LDS LGBT LGBTQ Link Bomb missionaries Modesty Mormon Mormon Alumni Association Mormonism motherhood peace politics Polygamy priesthood ban Sunstone temple

Awards

William Law X-Mormon of the Year:

  • 2023: Adam Steed
  • 2022: David Archuleta
  • 2021: Jeff T. Green
  • 2020: Jacinda Ardern
  • 2019: David Nielsen
  • 2018: Sam Young
  • 2017: Savannah
  • 2016: Jeremy Runnells
  • 2015: John Dehlin
  • 2014: Kate Kelly
  • 2013: J. Seth Anderson and Michael Ferguson
  • 2012: David Tweede
  • 2011: Joanna Brooks
  • 2010: Monica Bielanko
  • 2009: Walter Kirn

Other Cool Sites!

WasMormon.org
©2025 Main Street Plaza | WordPress Theme by SuperbThemes