Had a Weird Moment
I was putting my near-toddler son to bed, but I was at my sister’s house, so I layed him on my niece’s bed. He likes to go to bed with his bottle and classical music. My niece only had 1 CD in her stereo, and thank goodness it happened to be soft, instrumental music. But here’s the thing: the music was the instrumental version of the Young Women songs.
When I was in Young Women’s, I lived and breathed for my classes, activites, sports, friends and leaders. Firesides were amazing! I took pride in repeating the YW motto, “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him…..” Some of my most spiritual experiences came out of that time in my life. This was the era of the rope analogy called “hold to the rod” (I think), which affected me in a poignant way. I sucked all this stuff up. YW must’ve been organized for girls like me.
So when I heard a piano softly start playing, my mind began singing the words “I walk by faith, a daughter of heavenly parents. Divine am I in nature by inheritance…” These deep seated feelings of love and devotion came rushing back instantly, and then they were squashed because that’s all over now. It was a quiet moment of grieving. I had to shake off the tears, and consciously return to the task at hand: getting the baby to sleep.
Here’s my analytical pat on the back: When I love, it’s deep and loyal. It doesn’t just go away because I got a paper in the mail saying I’m not a member anymore. My love for the scriptures is still there too, even though I don’t read them now. And do you know what? After I’m finished being sad for that loss, I think I’ll actually keep the old love for those things. I think it is a unique and beautiful thing about me, that I don’t hold a grudge. The end 🙂
Originally posted March 29, 2006.