Sunday in Outer Blogness: Personal Journeys Edition!

This past week there wasn’t really any huge scandal or news item in the Mormosphere, but we had quite a lot of fascinating personal stories, especially regarding faith transitions! (Actually, there was one news item that was also a personal story: another Navajo is suing the CoJCoL-dS for sexual abuse while enrolled in the “Lamanite Indian Student Placement Program.”)

Abby Van Buren recounted her exit story from Mormonism, which included some pretty important points:

I see the priesthood like this. In the Mormon religion you need to be baptized, go through the temple to make ordinances with the Lord/God and to be married in the temple being sealed to your husband. All of these steps require the blessing of a priesthood holder, a man. So basically to go to heaven, a man has to let me.

I won’t get to heaven by simply loving others. I won’t get to heaven by being a compassionate person. I won’t go to heaven if I serve others. I can only get to heaven if a MAN blesses me and if a MAN tells me I am worthy and if a MAN wants to take me to the temple. See the issue here?

The Gay Mormon Southpaw is calling it quits too:

The change in policy was the final straw. It made me so angry. If I were closer to Utah, I would have likely participated in the mass resignation event. Even during my “break,” I hoped the church would somehow make nice with us Mohos. (or simply leave us alone.) But no, for every step forward, there were 10 steps back. The church ain’t true and they continue to treat gay people like crap lead gay members to suicide.

And, while there are obvious reasons why women and gay people might leave, there’s something to be said for those old-fashioned reason for apostasy: anger and wanting to sin.

Tophat reflected on what she lost when she chose to have a temple wedding:

Five years into my marriage and I realized I never had a wedding. My friends and family could not all attend my sealing. And I didn’t agree with all the promises in the sealing script. I felt cheated. I had not been told, “When you love someone so much you decide to commit to them, you’ll want to share that with all the people you love and care about. You’ll want to have a party and celebrate.” I had been told, “When you love someone and want to be with them forever, you need to sit through this ordinance and say ‘yes’ at the right time. The party and celebrating isn’t important.”

The aspiring Mormon Sex Goddess explained an interesting arrangement she has made with her husband:

While only tangentially related to polygamy, having some financial autonomy has helped me claim my sexual autonomy. As a stay-at-home mom with three children under age five, I’m financially dependent on my husband and sexual partner. This creates a vulnerability in our sexual relationship that I’m uncomfortable with. But I also want to stay at home with my kids while they’re young. As a resolution, we’ve agreed to separate bank accounts. I charge market rate for providing full-time childcare for three kids and we split the bills. For us, this clears a psychological space where sex and money can be separate.

Other slices of Mormon life: GoshDarnitalltoheck enjoyed a lovely social event with people of various beliefs getting along. A Mormon guy in an interracial marriage explained why he opposes same-sex marriage. Authentic Jena recounted coming out as lesbian. And Adult Onset Atheist posted a sad personal tale of falling in love with someone who is trans. (Note: Jeff Swift offered some positive discussion about how Mormons should address transgender issues.)

Yesterday was the day that some “Rainbow Mormons” — organized by Dr. Kristy Money — wore rainbows to church in solidarity with LGBT Mormons excluded by the infamous policy. I hope to see some tales in the coming week about how that went!

The rape issue at BYU is still unresolved. Hawkgrrrl mades some really good points about how the currently-in-the-news problem ties in with BYU’s culture of encouraging students to spy on each other, which has additional problems:

I’ve shared before my concern that Honor Code complaints can be a form of sexual harassment due to the culture of sexual repression and the stringent modesty guidelines for women, creating a hostile environment for female students in which they may be unfairly targeted by men whose attentions they find unwelcome. What does that look like? A whole lot like Mr. Collins from Pride & Prejudice but with the backing of an Honor Code Office when he is spurned.

Then there were some great discussion topics! Leah Marie Silverman analyzed what prayer is. Andrew S compared the grace/works debate with the relationship between talent and hard work. Russell Arben Fox argued that Mormons may be the ones to save the US from Trump.

That’s it for this week. Again, sorry it’s a little late. I had a lovely visit all afternoon with another ExMo family, and then my family had our traditional Sunday dinner (crèpes), and then it was between starting up my SiOB when it was already late or watching Monty Python with my husband and kids. The latter won. I’ve kind of decided that I’m going to stop apologizing for this. I’ve chosen Sundays for this little feature because Sunday is the day when I usually have time to do it — but occasionally that doesn’t quite work out, so I try to do it as early as possible Monday morning. Happy reading! 😀


C. L. Hanson is the friendly Swiss-French-American ExMormon atheist mom living in Switzerland! Follow me on mastadon at or see "letters from a broad" for further adventures!!

You may also like...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.