Skip to content
Main Street Plaza

A Community for Anyone Interested in Mormonism.

Main Street Plaza

A Community for Anyone Interested in Mormonism.

Here and Gone? A mother thinking ahead…..

Julia, July 16, 2012July 16, 2012

I am having surgery tomorrow, on my spine.

Am I scared? Yes.

Do I have faith that it will be okay? Mostly.

Did the blessing I received yesterday help to calm me? Yes.

Does having someone touch, move and work around my spinal cord give me a panic attack if I think about it too deeply? Hell Yeah!

So, I am pretty sure that I will be fine, but there is a chance something could go horribly wrong. So, this is the short letter I wrote to my children. I hope that they won’t have to see it until they are older, as a historical document.

My wonderful children,

I love you so very much! You are what make me smile, even when my body hurts. Your laughs, giggles and happy yelling are the music that fills my soul with hope, love and happiness. From the first moment that I held you in my arms, and smiled at your perfect little body, my heart belonged to you. As more children were added toour family, my heart was not split, it simply grew to love all of you more. I never knew that my heart could be this big. You have made me a bigger and better person, as I love you more each day.

I know, that you know, how much I love you. You are all such special children, with bright and lovely spirits. Your love for me and each other will never stop, no matter what happens in our lives. If something happens when I have my surgery tomorrow, it will not change how I feel about you. I will always love you, need you, and will always be there from you, whenever I can. Heavenly Father loves all of us, and whatever happens, I know He will watch over me and all of you!

I hope you never have to see this until you are much older, because my surgery went well and was a simple matter of getting better quickly. Ifsomething elsehappens, I will never stop loving you. I know that you will all become adults and parents who will make me proud.

All my love,

Momma

Julia http://poetrysansonions.blogspot.com/

 

Testimony

Post navigation

Previous post
Next post

Related Posts

Sunstoning: The Borderlands

April 26, 2011

I recently had occasion to make a business trip, and one of the things I took with me to read on the plane was the current issue of Sunstone. Most readers of this blog will be familiar with this publication, but for those who are not, Sunstone is the closest…

Read More

God the Monster

October 12, 2024October 12, 2024

This summer, when I posted on X about my lifelong conviction that the god of Mormonism is a moral monster, someone told me, very helpfully and completely accurately, that I would love God’s Monsters by Esther Hamori. God’s Monsters is the first work of religious scholarship that has made me…

Read More

the “Mormon Moment”: Publication Opportunity

January 21, 2013

An edited volume examining the “Mormon Moment” is under development.  The editors are looking for contributions (see this call for chapter proposals).  Of particular relevance to the MSP community might be chapters on how the Mormon Moment affected “outer blogness”, former Mormons, or the GLBTQ community (Mormon or non-Mormon).

Read More

Comments (3)

  1. chanson says:
    July 17, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    I hope your surgery went well!

  2. Julia says:
    July 17, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    They had to do twice as much of the surgery and cleaning my spinal bones as they thought. The MRI showed lots of the problem, a surgeon’s sight and hands are more accurate, once you back is open.

    So longer surgery, long time inpatient, but not coming back in two years for the same surgery. Thanks for the prayers!

    Julia

  3. Julia says:
    July 20, 2012 at 5:52 am

    I have had several kinds of surgery before, but the scar/stitches have always been on my stomach. How come no one tells you that it hurts WAY more when you have staples in your back. (And I am not even talking about the surgery pain, just the pain from your skin being stretched so much!!)

    So, as my grandmother used to say all the time, if you are feeling good enough to complain you must be starting to get better. I guess waking up whiny means I am starting to heal.

    Thanks for the love!

    Julia
    http://poetrysansonions.blogspot.com/

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Mormon Alumni Association Books

Latest Comments:

  1. Cara B. Klein on My conspiracy theory #2April 26, 2025

    Wow, I had never thought about it in that way before You have really opened my eyes to a new…

  2. chanson on LDS vs LGBTQ:  Nathan Kitchen sheds false binariesApril 16, 2025

    The haiku at the end is lovely. Sounds like a great book!

  3. Donna Banta on LDS vs LGBTQ:  Nathan Kitchen sheds false binariesApril 14, 2025

    I imagine anyone who has tried to change the church from within will identify with Kitchen's story. I especially like…

  4. Johnny Townsend on LDS vs LGBTQ:  Nathan Kitchen sheds false binariesApril 14, 2025

    This was a painful review to read. For many years, I held the same hope, that the LDS church would…

  5. LDS vs LGBTQ:  Nathan Kitchen sheds false binaries – Main Street Plaza on It’s Time to Vote for the 2024 Brodie Awards!!!April 14, 2025

    […] sincere acceptance is not a priority. Fortunately, this is what he exemplifies in his memoir, the Brodie-nominated Boughs of…

8: The Mormon Proposition Acceptance of Gays Add new tag Affirmation angry exmormon awards Book Reviews BYU comments Conformity Dallin H. Oaks DAMU disaffected mormon underground Dustin Lance Black Ex-Mormon Exclusion policy Excommunicated exmormon faith Family feminism Gay Gay Love Gay Marriage Gay Relationships General Conference Happiness Homosexual Homosexuality LDS LGBT LGBTQ Link Bomb missionaries Modesty Mormon Mormon Alumni Association Mormonism motherhood peace politics Polygamy priesthood ban Sunstone temple

Awards

William Law X-Mormon of the Year:

  • 2023: Adam Steed
  • 2022: David Archuleta
  • 2021: Jeff T. Green
  • 2020: Jacinda Ardern
  • 2019: David Nielsen
  • 2018: Sam Young
  • 2017: Savannah
  • 2016: Jeremy Runnells
  • 2015: John Dehlin
  • 2014: Kate Kelly
  • 2013: J. Seth Anderson and Michael Ferguson
  • 2012: David Tweede
  • 2011: Joanna Brooks
  • 2010: Monica Bielanko
  • 2009: Walter Kirn

Other Cool Sites!

WasMormon.org
©2025 Main Street Plaza | WordPress Theme by SuperbThemes