The Conservative View of Marriage
People who have sex shall be married.
Gays and lesbians have sex.
Therefore gays and lesbians need to get married.
Awards
Lists of Brodie award winners:
X-Mormon of the Year 2019: David Nielsen
X-Mormon of the Year 2018: Sam Young 
X-Mormon of the Year 2017: Savannah
X-Mormon of the Year 2016: Jeremy Runnells
X-Mormon of the Year 2015: John Dehlin
X-Mormon of the Year 2014: Kate Kelly
X-Mormon of the Year 2013: J. Seth Anderson and Michael Ferguson
X-Mormon of the Year 2012: David Twede
X-Mormon of the Year 2011: Joanna Brooks
X-Mormon of the Year 2010: Monica Bielanko
X-Mormon of the Year 2009: Walter Kirn
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Obviously, Repubs are not conservatives.
The Repub View of Marriage*:
– People who have sex shall repress the truth about their sexual lives at all cost.
– Repubs have sex.
– Therefore Repubs are the “Family Values” Party.
*Footnote: And since God controls marriage and hates gays and lesbians, he punishes his wayward children by demanding that they not have sex unless it’s Repub sex.
But if we can prohibit gays and lesbians from getting married, then they will stop having sex. Right?
Seriously though, that marriage would encourage responsible sex is but one aspect of the “conservative” view. There are many good reasons to argue for extending marriage to same-sex couples that should rationally appeal to social conservatives.
Just yesterday, a study was released which indicates that legalized same-sex couple relationships appear to be longer-lasting than those without a legal status. This was based on studies in Vermont during the five years where same-sex civil unions have been legal there.
One conservative offered the following hypothetical:
An 8-year-old goes to play at the house of his friend, who is raised by two lesbian women. The environment is a loving one. So this playmate, whose straight parents are married, is going to absorb one of two possible norms.
1) My friend lives in a happy home. His parents are married. When people grow up and love each other, and want to have kids and a happy home, they get married. (I hope I get married one day.)
Or
2) My friend lives in a happy home. His parents aren’t married. When people grow up and love each other, and want to have kids and a happy home, sometimes they get married like my parents. Other times they don’t get married, like my friend’s parents. (One day I may get married and have kids, but maybe I’ll just have kids and live with the person I love.)
Conservatives should prefer the former scenario.
That’s a clever argument, Steven. I never considered that a happy but discriminated gay family may undermine marriage in the eyes of an observant child.
I agree, Matt. With a few exceptions, most Republican elected officials are not conservatives. They are cronies and radicals. Their policies are not based on principle but on selfishness and resentment.
That’s unfortunate because it is difficult to properly balance policy without a principled counter-voice.
Like many other Europeans, I found libertarian rhetoric very appealing when I arrived in the United States. Arianna Huffington and Andrew Sullivan come to mind, for example. Like them, I have been compelled to move away from the Republican party.
(#1)
Dear god, save us from mandated Republican sex.