Killing my blog was one of the most painful experiences I’ve had in my postmormon existence. For whatever reason, I could not write what I thought without hurting my wife deeply, and when things reached a decision point, I decided that I wouldn’t write if I couldn’t write whatever I wanted to write. And so “Joseph’s Left One” vanished.
It sounds stupid, but I grieved. I felt like I had lost my voice, my right to think and express myself. Ironically, silencing my voice just made me resent Mormonism (and in some ways my wife) even more. You can’t go through a traumatic experience like leaving the church and expect to bottle up your feelings. It doesn’t work.
I don’t know that I’ll have much interesting or valuable to contribute, but it does feel good to have my voice back.