Abide with Me

I can’t sleep again.

I got home late (10:30 LOL) and I was so exhausted I thought I was going to pass out. Well, I did, relishing the thoughts of sleeping in until…6 or 7 or something. But no. Four am on the dot.

I keep thinking of the eulogy I’m to give on Friday at dad’s funeral. I don’t know if what I wrote is…right. I want to feel perfect about it. I want it to be in par with my memories and my honor of him. But I think the song is right. Yes, we have to sing as a family because it’s what dad wanted. Continue reading “Abide with Me”

Youth Conference

The very first thing I heard upon arriving at Youth Conference was a dirty joke.

Somewhere behind me in the long line of kids walking from the buses to the registration tables a boy’s voice said “Why did the condom fly across the room? — because it was pissed-off!” Not very funny, really, but it made me smile to myself. It seemed like a good omen for how the conference would go — hopefully not one hundred percent goodie-goodie. Read the rest of the story »

How Do You Know?

When we were younger, we threw the word “know” around a lot. We said we knew “with every fiber of our being” that X, Y, and Z were true. And we knew not because of reason or “evidence” but because of the witness of the spirit. This kind of knowledge is the foundation of a Mormon life. Here’s Richard G. Scott’s take on it: “A strong testimony is the unshakable foundation of a secure, meaningful life where peace, confidence, happiness, and love can flourish. It is anchored in a conviction that an all-knowing God is in command of His work (“The Power of a Strong Testimony,” Ensign, Nov. 2001, p. 87).

And I had this knowledge. I was firm in the faith and unshakable. Continue reading “How Do You Know?”

Finding My Father’s Playboy Magazine

When I was 10, my mother was in a serious accident. She spent a month in the hospital and she was in very serious condition.
During this time, my world was turned upside down. As the oldest child and daughter, I was the person that stepped into my mother’s role; doing as much as a 10 year old child can do, anyway. I remember the stress and emotional strain on my family during this time. My 2 younger siblings had to attend daycare during the day so this was a financial strain that my father had never experienced. I went to school each day and in the evenings, I was the one that took care of the children. I remember my father worried that my mother would die, leaving him to care for all of us. I did my best to help him, but the stress became overwhelming. Continue reading “Finding My Father’s Playboy Magazine”

Marriage to Marriage

We are married to marriage.

Our whole culture, across all socio-economic, religious, gender and political boards is overwhelmingly married to the idea of marriage. When someone divorces, they call it a “failed marriage”. But the implication is not that the actual pairing failed; rather, the implication is that something tragic and bad has happened and the individuals themselves have somehow personally failed. How often do you hear these phrases: Continue reading “Marriage to Marriage”

“I want to be something”

We have various neighbors who are devoutly Muslim, Jewish, and Catholic. There are also Hindus, atheists, and every variety of Protestant. And, of course, most of our extended family is Mormon. So our son is not unaccustomed to hearing “Because they’re Muslim” or “Because they think that’s what God wants them to do” when he asks, “Why do they do that?” I also try to explain a little about the different religions when he asks, and I hope he will understand diversity. Continue reading ““I want to be something””

Nuts n’ Bolts

Here we are, getting down to the nuts n’ bolts of death.

Cleaning out possessions from dad’s room, meeting with the mortician, going over the funeral plans, choosing flowers.

I heard recently that from an LDS perspective, LDS funerals should have the three following components: Remembrances of the deceased’s life, comforting words for the mourners, and preaching the Gospel. Continue reading “Nuts n’ Bolts”