It’s cool to be a smart mom

It is cool to be a smart mom, and I hope I am one. So I’ve been trying to figure out precisely how to explain why I found the following quote “I think it would be cool to both be smart and be a mom—to be a smart mom” so disturbing in the context of The New Era article “Seek Learning.” Bull has posted the article here and the youth follow-up quotes here. Continue reading “It’s cool to be a smart mom”

Growing Up Mormon: Religious Addiction

building.gif When I was very young my parents drank, smoked and rarely went to any church. My father had been raised Mormon, but had left the religion to sow wild oats or something. My mother was a Norwegian Lutheran from North Dakota. She was the responsible one, never doing anything to the extreme. My father, from stories I’ve gathered, had quite the alcohol problem – carousing and going on three-day binges. He struggled with excess, characteristic of addictive personalities.

After his last Vietnam duty tour, he came home with a new addiction. While over there he traded all the others in on religion. Specifically Mormonism. It superseded alcohol, tobacco, and sex (I’m speculating on that one, based on clues I’ve heard during family gatherings). Continue reading “Growing Up Mormon: Religious Addiction”

Finding My Father’s Playboy Magazine

When I was 10, my mother was in a serious accident. She spent a month in the hospital and she was in very serious condition.
During this time, my world was turned upside down. As the oldest child and daughter, I was the person that stepped into my mother’s role; doing as much as a 10 year old child can do, anyway. I remember the stress and emotional strain on my family during this time. My 2 younger siblings had to attend daycare during the day so this was a financial strain that my father had never experienced. I went to school each day and in the evenings, I was the one that took care of the children. I remember my father worried that my mother would die, leaving him to care for all of us. I did my best to help him, but the stress became overwhelming. Continue reading “Finding My Father’s Playboy Magazine”

“I want to be something”

We have various neighbors who are devoutly Muslim, Jewish, and Catholic. There are also Hindus, atheists, and every variety of Protestant. And, of course, most of our extended family is Mormon. So our son is not unaccustomed to hearing “Because they’re Muslim” or “Because they think that’s what God wants them to do” when he asks, “Why do they do that?” I also try to explain a little about the different religions when he asks, and I hope he will understand diversity. Continue reading ““I want to be something””

The Bishop’s Daughter

Cross-posted from

Back in 1969, my grandfather was the Bishop in the Monument Park Stake on the very exclusive, very Mormon, east bench of Salt Lake City, Utah. This was at a time where there were only, believe it or not, eight stakes in the Salt Lake valley. In other words, everybody knew the family. They were high-profile and well-respected. To this day, I often meet people whom I’ve never met who know my grandfather and refer to him as “Bishop”.

My mother was 19 at the time. My father, just a bit older. Of course, they weren’t my mom and dad then. They were just two crazy kids in love… in love with sex. As a result, late in 1969, my older brother was conceived. There was just one thing missing… the ring.

Yep, my brother is a bastard. Well, except that in February 1970, my parents were rushed into an ill-fated marriage in order to save face for my mother’s family among their friends, ward members, and colleagues. To this day, when my dad hears the word shotgun, he ducks.

I had no idea about any of this until, in the fifth grade, I was writing a report on my family for a school assignment.
Continue reading “The Bishop’s Daughter”

a symbolic rite of passage?

Wendy P writes:

I’m in the middle of a ‘post-Mormon’ issue that I’d love to explore. My mostly non-active daughter (age 7) wants to be baptized, mainly to fit in with her active LDS friends and family members. Is it disingenuous to have a child baptized, who really isn’t an active member or believer? She was “born in the Church” and goes to church a few times a year, so she’s familiar with the teachings, but really isn’t a candidate in the traditional sense.

As a post-Mormon parent, can you make baptism for your child a sort of hybrid between orthodoxy and merely a symbolic rite of passage, in order to feel a bond with peers and family?