Another 17 year old boy named Jack Denton Reese committed suicide on April 22 in Mountain Green, Utah after being bullied for being feminine and/or gay, the day before his boyfriend Alex Smith spoke at a panel about the bullying Jack experienced.  The panel was held in connection with the screening of the documentary film, “Bullied.” Alex did not even know that his boyfriend had already killed himself the day before the panel convened. “You’ll always be remembered,” wrote a close friend on the mortuary’s guest book. “I know you’re looking down on us all right now, telling us all to be ourselves no matter what people say or how harshly they judge. I know it because that’s all you wanted. I love you, Jack. Love forever in our hearts. You’re amazing just the way you are.” And “I remember Jack when he was in our ward and when he would pass the sacrament,” reads another entry. “What a handsome and dedicated young man!” Jack attended Morgan and Weber High schools. On April 27, Weber High students attended class in their Sunday best in Jack’s honor.

Although I am not personally so affected by personal attacks on me (at least I do not let it show), my heart bleeds and my soul aches with severe pain and extreme anguish when I read these stories; and the tears come gushing out.  Jack and his boyfriend Alex are so cute, cuddly and adorable and innocent looking, that it hurts me all the more and makes the intense pain unforgettable.  It almost makes me want to go out and kill those dam f$&%ing bastards who did the bullying (and I do not care if you pardon my French or Not). I am simply baffled and hurt, and cannot believe that this innocent boy is no longer with us and that his gorgeous and awesome presence will no longer be around for us to see him grow up to be a man.  I don’t just cry, but I bawl every time that I look at his beautiful and flawless face.  How can anyone in this cruel world, possibly want to hurt or tease, or ridicule or in any fashion bully this most wonderful and adorable boy.

It is my greatest hope that those who provoked this beautiful child to kill himself and cause so much pain to his equally gorgeous boyfriend, that they suffer the pains of hell and degradation that only a vengeful God in all his wrath and fury can unleash to their miserable souls.  May they rot in hell and in endless and eternal torment with gnashing of teeth and the pains of eternal damnation and May a Just God grind their souls into the oblivion of “outer darkness.”  God the Father says that I must forgive them, but He, God, does not have to forgive them and it is my wish that he not forgive them as he says he does not have too.  Oh how exquisite and endless will be their pain and no man will know the eternal torment of these dammed souls, only those assigned to the awful pit of hell and the internal endless lake of fire and the smoke that ascends up forever and ever, only they will know the eternal anguish of that dark and horrible place.  Give them all you got Lord God and do not hold back one iota of your eternal wrath, even the endless wrath of almighty God the Father who is quick and powerful and slow to hear the cries of the wicked.  I personally never want to see them again or hear their hatred and prejudice and bigotry and cruel remarks again.

I may have to forgive such people but I do not have to forget and I do not have to wish for God to forgive them either and I certainly do not, hell no!  I may even be commanded to love such individuals but I do not and will not love, condone, or in any way accept their evil actions and intentions for which they will suffer for all of eternity.  God did not say that I could not hate and loathe their damnable behavior for which he God will never forgive or give pardon to.  Christians say “Love the sinner but hate the sin” and that is exactly what I am doing here and I am no hypocrite either. (Thanks for letting me vent).


My, my, my how I cry, cry, cry and say why, why, why and want to die, die, die and I hope you sigh, sigh, sigh when you nod good bye, bye, bye to the kid who die, die, die died.


I will never forget the story of Jack Reese and his boyfriend Alex Smith.  Just another Gay Mormon boy child whose candle went out to soon like a candle in the wind, even before we got to know the beautiful baby or even say good bye!


My comprehension of my own life is that I am a truly wise person; I know this because I have been told by many that I have the gift of discernment and the bible says that all who have the gift of discernment especially at a young age, and I did at the ripe old age of 10 years old, are truly those individuals that will not only have wisdom but will be wise indeed AND NOT BE CONFOUNDED.


So in conjunction with that I wish to say to my Mother, if she were still alive; and she is not:

Hi Mom its Robin Lee Johnson here, your second oldest son who grew up like the oldest because I was the only boy amongst my siblings after my older brother passed away.  I have wanted to tell you that when you clapped your hands over your ears, and yelled at me at the top of your lungs: “Shut the F%$#@ up!!, and don’t ever speak to me about this again” when I tried to tell you that I was being repeatedly and forcibly molested at the ranch; you really hurt my feelings and made me think that you did not love me or even care about me at all.  Not only that, but you did not protect me, and so I was repeatedly molested again and again after that and raped also.  There was no use telling you, because you would not listen to me in the first place.  I learned to be helpless because I was being forced to do something I did not want to do, and no one was there to help me, not you Mom, or Dad either.  Only Cassie my little 5 year old sister tried to help when I asked her for her help, but failed also, in the end, because he viciously threatened and scared her away.  I was hurt badly and still bear the deep emotional wounds of your actions (and lack of appropriate actions) to this day, some 40 years later!

Because I was emotionally damaged for your lack of intervention on my part, I hold you responsible for many of my emotional problems and mental illnesses with their accompanying years of psychological as well as physical pain.

I can only imagine how you would react to the news that I am a faggot, queer or homosexual.  Would you react the same way as when I tried to tell you I was being molested by an ugly 52 year old man when I was just 10 years old?  Would you support your only surviving son, out of the 14 boys that you conceived but never got to raise?  Or would you just hate me for being gay and therefore show to me that it was wise of the Lord to not let you raise my other brothers because in all likelihood some of them would probably be homosexual also.

You were there for my older sister when she got raped at gun point and also for my two younger sisters when they were molested by that “Hell’s Angel” character; and you did all in your power to bring them to justice including court trials in which I even testified at when I was just 12 years old.  Why did you try and help them and not me?  Are you that different in your treatment of girls over boys or are you so homophobic that the very thought of me being with another male disgusted you to the point of holding back your love from me in my greatest time of need?!?

In any case, I forgive you only because I have the capacity to do so, and God has commanded me to do so.  But until I die, I will always wonder if you will accept me for who I am when you know the truth about me; that I am gay as hell!  I always figured that it would be Dad that would reject me for my sexual orientation and even want to go out and shoot me in order to put away that filthy faggot!

Daddy did not really support me being gay, but at least he did not reject me either.  He did not understand me being gay and I suspect that he does not even understand the homosexual people at all, not the slightest clue; because like the Mormon Church, he does not give it the time of day, because he has always believed that homosexuality was simply evil.

I do not blame my Dad for his attitude, because he was taught this attitude by the Mormon Church and other so-called Christian organizations and people.  My Dad was not sophisticated enough to be able to tell when someone was wrong or right, especially not in social and family issues or even matters of the heart.  He was simple, yet he agreed with those he chose to agree with and would say: “to hell with everyone else.”  My Dad even told me that he was angry with the Church leaders, who he said had no right to excommunicate me like they did and that he felt that they were wrong.  In that way I did get some support from my Dad, but I do not know if it was more or less that he usually disagreed with Church leaders anyway, or if it really was just supporting his son over the Church.  Either way, I am glad that he said what he said.  In a lot of ways my Daddy was cool and a somewhat fair man, but a poor man just the same; poor financially and spiritually.  I love my father, so don’t get me wrong, he never tried to destroy us with words like my Mother was always trying to do to us kids.

Also don’t misunderstand me Mom; and think that I do not love you, because I do; and I am not taking Dad’s side over yours either, it is just that you are the one that failed me when I was always loyal to you.  This is something that you did not understand, like the day you permanently exiled me from your life and told me to “get the F@#$%& out of my house, and I hope the door hits you in the ass on the way out too” when I was 17 years old and a junior in high school.  You were the one that got me put in a foster home because you fought with our Landlord about my sister not doing the dishes, and then you, because of your pride, threw our butts on the street, not because the landlord said we had to go, but because you were angry.  And when I tried to inquire as to when I could move back home, after you and my younger sisters had moved back home already, and you asked me first before I could open my mouth, “So when are you going to move back in son” you threw me out of the house because I answered “I don’t know…” (You did not let me finish, either!)

You did this because you thought, I was not sure that I wanted to move back home, because like usual, you did not let me finish talking, for I was trying to say: “I do not know, when do you want me to move back in, because I am ready at any time to move back in, but it is your call.”  Mom, you have always been the boss, no one in this world tells you what to do, that is why I answered the way that I did.  But you assumed that I was going to say something like: ‘I don’t know if I really want to move back in’ and thus you figured that I was not being absolutely loyal to you.

Quite ironic when you think about it though, isn’t it?  The fact that you were the one that was not loyal to me on several occasions and I was never disloyal to you ever.  So if you threw me out of the house when I was a minor child, and did not give me a chance to explain myself, all because I did not answer a question of yours exactly the way you wanted me too, then I can only imagine what wrath you would pour down on me when you discover that, God forbid, my son is queer!  I for one fear your wrath, more than the wrath of Almighty God.  I ask for your forgiveness mother, in advance, if I have offended you in anyway; for you always said that we were a reflection upon you, and that whatever we did either complimented you or were an embarrassment to you.  I can only hope that you are not embarrassed by me because I am gay!

Your Loving son Robin Lee Johnson!

LDS Inc. sets gold standard on reporting child abuse?

I caught this article in the MormonTimes about the LDS Church being criticized by Marci Hamilton about its cover ups of child sexual abuse. I highly suggest your read Marci Hamilton’s article first, but I’ll give you the conclusion here:

Thus, the LDS Church has created essentially the same opaque system that the Catholic Church has employed when it comes to child sex abuse. While the polygamy, child brides, and sex abuse endemic to the polygamous sects are not permitted or encouraged by LDS, the structure of the organization, the importance of its self-image as a leader of virtue in the world, and its intent to protect the Church from liability have, together, yielded a cycle of abuse that is not at all unlike that which has been widely documented in the Roman Catholic Church.

So is there serious abuse in the LDS Church? Absolutely. Why don’t we know more about it? Because of the Church’s internal beliefs, rules, and the acquiescence of its believers just like in the case of the Roman Catholic Church. In addition, the laws and precedents in Utah have served to cover it up very effectively. If there is one state in the United States that is anathema to lawyers representing child sex abuse victims because the odds of success are so low, it is Utah.

Those on the outside of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are in the same position outsiders were in with respect to the Roman Catholic Church and clergy abuse before 2002, when the Boston Globe broke the cover story. I have no doubt that what I am saying will provoke defensive and even angry responses. I also know, having dealt with the Catholic Bishops for as long as I have, that there will be powerful temptations to attack me personally. So be it. But I sincerely hope it will also lead to real reforms that result in sunshine on dangerous practices and a reordering of priorities that will put their own vulnerable children atop the list of priorities.

Now the rebuttal in the MormonTimes article by Von G. Keetch, chief outside legal counsel for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

“The LDS Church has long had a highly effective approach for preventing and responding to abuse. In fact, no religious organization has done more. Although no one system is perfect and no single program will work with every organization, the LDS Church’s approach is the gold standard.”

Does anyone buy this statement from Keetch? If the Mormon approach is the “gold standard”, why are there no background checks on individuals who work with kids? Why is the Church losing court cases when sued over abuse? Why is the LDS Church still working with the Boy Scouts who have “secret files” on their leaders who are abusers? If the current policies of LDS Inc. are the “gold standard” for religions reporting abuse, the gold standard sucks!

RE: The Sinister Entity Behind the Christian Facade of Mormonism?

So, this article in OpEdNews popped up in my Google News alerts today: The Sinister Entity Behind the Christian Facade of Mormonism. It’s by a guy named Douglas A. Wallace, who appears to be an embittered ex-Mormon who actually had a rather prominent position at some point in the past – mission architect (per his own bio, mind you). The article appears to be an ad for his book, Under The Mormon Tree.

My first question: Does anyone know anything about this guy? Has anyone heard of him before?

My second question/comment: It seems like it would be a good contribution by MSP to actually dissect the claims he makes in his OpEdNews post. Obviously I don’t want to legitimize a cooky conspiracy theorist if that’s clearly what he is. But I’m not sure if that has been established. So, anyone interested in dissecting his claims?

Here are the claims that seem falsifiable (i.e., we could determine whether or not they are accurate): Continue reading “RE: The Sinister Entity Behind the Christian Facade of Mormonism?”

And so it gets worse instead of better…

Spray-paint vandalism of other people’s symbols is wrong when one side does it, and it’s wrong when the other side does it:

(hat tip Friendly Atheist)

Billboards and bus ads with innocuous messages like “Millions are good without God” have appeared all over the world, and the one that gets vandalized is in Idaho. Now, I’m not going to say that this was provoked by Oaks’s talk at BYU-Idaho, but I will say — as I said before — that he missed an opportunity to call for fair play on all sides. So I’ll say what Oaks didn’t:

Even if you don’t like the LDS church’s political actions, you don’t go defacing their churches with spray paint. It does nothing but feed a cycle of hostility and retaliation, not to mention giving your opponents the opportunity to portray you as a villain. Oaks calls this sort of behavior “aggressive intimidation” directed at “persons and symbols”. I wouldn’t go that far (and the Humanists who put up the billboard would just as soon laugh it off and call for more dialog), but it falls well outside of the bounds of free speech and fair play.

Let’s reach across the table and call for fair play and open dialog on all sides.

Federal govt must investigate NOMs finances

Guest post by Danielle Truszkovsky.

BEFORE WRITING THIS column, I sat and stared at my computer screen for what seemed like ages trying to figure out a way to make the topic of IRS regulations seem a bit more interesting.

Lets face it, most people just dont want to read about a subject as dry as tax law. Unfortunately, one of the only ways to detect questionable practices by organizations like the National Organization for Marriage is to first acquire the groups tax return, research it in detail, and make public the findings. Not surprisingly, NOMs initial return generated more questions than answers.

Obtaining the return has been an ongoing process spanning many months. On March 25, 2009, the group Californians Against Hate sent a certified request to NOM at their headquarters (20 Nassau St., Suite 242, Princeton, N.J.) for a copy of their 2007 tax return (Form 990). Under IRS regulations, NOM was required to release this information to the group within 30 days or face penalties of $20 per day. As of this week, NOM had not turned over their return to Californians Against Hate. Continue reading “Federal govt must investigate NOMs finances”

Sunday in Outer Blogness: Parade of Patriotism Edition!

Now, let’s just dispense with the esoteric discussions on the true dirty definition of “tea-bagging” since the tea-baggers are just patriotic Americans who don’t like taxation without representation, and if your favorite candidate fails to get elected one time, then the patriotic thing to do is, well, secede from the U.S. of A., right? Or not.

Then, for fun, guess who this patriotic quote belongs to:

How long before married people answer the dictators thus: Regardless of law, marriage has only one definition, and any government that attempts to change it is my mortal enemy. I will act to destroy that government and bring it down, so it can be replaced with a government that will respect and support marriage, and help me raise my children in a society where they will expect to marry in their turn.

Continue reading “Sunday in Outer Blogness: Parade of Patriotism Edition!”

Spain Investigates Jay Bybee for Torture

According to Harper’s, Spanish authorities are investigating Bush administration officials for torture. That includes the former BYU law professor Jay Bybee who signed off on John Yoo’s infamous torture memos.

The premier Spanish newspaper El País reports that judge Baltasar Garzón is involved in the investigation. Garzon is famous for prosecuting Basque terrorists and for bringing Augusto Pinochet to justice by demanding the dictator’s extradition from Britain.

Although the extradition request failed, Chile revoked the tyrant’s immunity and tried him at home.

The immediate consequence for Bybee and the torture crew is that they are no longer able to travel outside the United States. Spain may demand their arrest and extradition.

The Spanish activities are also increasing the pressure on the Obama administration to prosecute torturers for violating international human rights and American criminal law. Since Bybee is now a federal judge, his case is especially embarrassing.

As Mormons, we need to ask ourselves why so many prominent Mormons have become entangled in the abuses of the Bush administration. Personally, I have a hard time understanding how a torturer can remain a Mormon in good standing.

religion = $$$

I know, it’s the most cynical interpretation of religion there is, but sometimes religions do things that just point so strongly to the money aspect that you can’t help but be cynical. Here’s a NYTimes article about religious leaders battling a bill in New York that would remove the statute of limitations on child sex abuse. The primary opposition to the bill is religious leaders, in particular, the Catholic Church. Why? They say it would bankrupt them. Frankly, IMO, they went bankrupt decades ago when the leaders allowed pedophile priests to sexually abuse children. I hope the legislation passes and the Catholic Church does go bankrupt in New York. It would serve them right for their past actions. What’s the phrase for this (that I don’t actually believe)…? Oh, yeah, “Karma is a bitch!”