Here it is.
So did I resign my church membership like I said I would?
Not quite. yet. I set out to do it, and… I just couldn’t do it.
Now, I know most people reading this will leap to the cynical interpretation that deep down I secretly still believe in God, or that I just haven’t milked this enough for blog material. But it’s not that (okay, well, maybe a little tiny bit of the latter). But, as a purely symbolic gesture, I don’t feel like doing it. I never affirmed my membership or sustained the leadership of the CoJCoL-dS as an adult, so I haven’t said anything that I should have to take back. I haven’t authorized them to list me as part of their organization — so if they’re keeping honest records, they should remove my name on their own, without my insisting on it.
Everybody keeps saying how relieved they feel when they get that final letter washing the stench of Mormonness off them — and I totally understand that — but somehow I don’t feel that way. (And, really, I don’t feel like corresponding with the official organization at all, not the membership records, and not with the local ward who would surely have to call me.) Of course I disagree vehemently with the politics (and many of the values and teachings) of the CoJCoL-dS, but I’d rather be able to talk to Mormon people as kin, as someone who wants to see them do the right thing. I don’t want Mormons throwing this back in my face (telling me I actively chose to cut my ties) when I enter into a discussion with them.
If the CoJCoL-dS cuts me off, I’d be totally down with that. Hell, there’s a certain cachet in getting ex’d. But I’m not going to insist on it. Unless I get really low on blogging material again…